I can totally relate to that analogy. Yes, I’m peeling, peeling, and peeling. I articulated elsewhere that growth feels to me like growing leaner.

Thanks for your kind words, and all your insights. Keep in touch!

ari

Wow. If you’ve trained yourself to always listen to your intuition, then you’re definitely ahead of me in that regard. I’m still declattering my noise. It’s pretty amazing the depth of the fears I acquired over my life — I unlearn one, and I uncover more. But like you said, the more I learn to follow that voice, the better I feel over all.

Thanks for sharing your insights!

ari

Indeed, it’s challenging. I’m a very emotional person, so as I said to Urban Panther, sometimes I have to wade through thickets of feelings to get to the one I want to listen to. I’m so used to having turmoils and conflicts inside. But consistently following my values seems to quiet the inner arguments. It seems like the chatterers and distractors inside realize that they don’t have as good of grounds as my inner champion of my values — my conscience.

ari

Urban Panther’s last blog post..All things for all people

Yes, I’m with you. A lot of times, it’s the small things — but one act like that and it can snowball to ruin the rest of my day. I find that I need to be vigilant about following my inner guide.

I think a lot of us form a habit. A habit of NOT feeling good. It often takes courage or will power to subject ourselves to do things that bring Satisfaction later — and sometimes we don’t have resources to successfully steer ourselves. When you are depleted, you go for the quick grab, the immediate gratification. I don’t know about you, but I always talk myself into it, knowing it’s not a good idea.

But having articulated this observation, I am getting better at listening to myself. Even on days that are hard and difficult, I do less things I feel bad about later. It really enhances my peace of mind.

ari

On one hand, I wonder, for something like a babit-building, if you want to go on looking for a form of exercise that brings both Pleasure AND Satisfaction? What initially drew you on to running? Are there other activities that you find yourself drawn to?

That said, Pleasure is something we can teach ourselves to feel, even in acts that may initially feel unPleasurable. I’m not a runner myself so I can’t speak from experience, but I do wonder if you simply instituted a daily habit of running (start with a 30-day trial) maybe you’ll begin to enjoy it consistently.

Pleasure is malleable. Satisfaction, which is based on your values, doesn’t change so easily — so when you find things that make you feel good about afterward, then that is something you can count on.

My article was written more to address situations where you don’t know what the right choice is, and you’re probing your feelings for clues. I myself am a feeling-oriented person, but I found that feelings are murky grounds — different emotions come to me and tell me they are the ones I should listen to. Having articulated this observation, now I have cleared up a way for me to examine my own feelings.

ari

Thanks for great insights. I think we’re on the same page. I agree that following our values is fulfilling — but with this article I was coming from a feeling-oriented place. In my book I would use the word “satisfaction” to describe the long-term feeling about actions I feel proud of taking, while “fulfilling” to me is less about feeling and more about accomplishments — like delivering on a promise I made. So yes, I think we’re essentially debating semantics — you can substitute any words that work for you!

Thanks again for your comment. I appreciate the thoughtfulness that you bring.

ari

Welcome to OBV! Thanks for a thoughtful comment.

I never meant to say that that pleasure is bad and to be disregarded. My intention with this article was to address the situations where you don’t know which feelings you should trust and make decisions based on.

Of course, the ideal is that an action brings both pleasure and satisfaction. But I figured that that’ll be an obvious choice! I’m with you about kids being exhausting — I have two little ones. In your example, I would say such a break would definitely be both pleasurable and satisfying.

Keep in touch! I look forward to getting to know you.

ari

Robin’s last blog post..Insects Versus Mother Theresa