Thanks for a heart-felt comment. I do realize that sometimes, we are so “spent” that having hopes up feels like a risk you can’t take — and what you’re describing, like filling the bank account with starter money, is a part of building up your resources so you can afford to hope.

And no, we’re never finished. I am guessing that when we are is the time for us to leave this life.

ari

I am a risk taker in a big way. I always had a dream of owning my own business. I began with a vision, like you, and wrote it down. I was constantly building up my confidence by listening to others that had shared a similar dream. I would store those notes. I kept my eye focused on that dream. I continue to do this today. It is work to not allow self-sabotage into my life. When thrown some pretty hard hits…I learn. I get back up and take off again. Was I always like this, no. I took it step by step and kept on moving at a slow pace.

Each person is different. Different environments allow different chances. We are not all in a situation to pick up and move to follow a dream. “I don’t want to have my hopes up” is a real emotion. Many things are not obtainable. It is not unrealistic to feel this way. One must choose a “reasonable” path to follow. Fill up the bank account with positives, lessons, and in most cases starter money….and go for it. Not all success does require money….sometimes faith is all that is needed.

To accept ourselves is to accept that we are never “finished,” but always in process, always on the way, always becoming. It is to accept life itself as a journey and our ourselves as travelers, who, in spite of all our limitations and roadblocks, are each and every one of us on the road to glory.

Glad to hear you’re on the right track. Success won’t come without taking risks, but not taking risks in itself is the biggest risk of all — compared to that, I’m sure you’ll overcome whatever obstacles you may face. Go Jannie!

ari

That reminds of me of when I was recording my debut album. I was doing my vocals and I was getting seriously discouraged — I just kept telling myself “failure is not an option.” And I got through it, and I’m proud that I did.

With such a strong commitment to success, I’m sure you’ll break through sooner or later. Go Laurie!

ari

The people I’ve seen aren’t consciously afraid of success — they just fear and suppress their desire for success, as the very existence of hope creates a chance to be disappointed. A defensive thinking in an extreme sense, but it’s borne out of painful past experience and low personal resource (the bank account’s in negative).

It’s definitely not a happy place to be in, but it takes a good bit of digging to catch yourself doing it. I’m guessing you and I are probably mostly beyond it, but hopefully this post will serve as a trigger for others to do some self-examination.

ari

Thanks for sharing your personal story! It reminded me of my “Affirmation of Existence,” a written statement I viewed often to rebuild my self-esteem. I gotta write about that.

Again, when you’re so used to being stressed and strung out, it’s hard to imagine what it’s like to be affirmed. Sometimes you have to force yourself to go through some rituals to build it up — even if it seems hoaky or silly in the beginning.

ari

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Sabotaging myself was a constant struggle for me early in recovery. When I stopped doing heroin, I did not stop being self-destructive–I just did so in different ways than I had when I was addicted.

One of the things that I did to change my self-beliefs was to write daily affirmations and I did this even when I did not believe the things I wrote. I had felt badly about myself for so long that it was a natural state for me–and I had to actually retrain my thought processes so that I would view myself in terms that are more favorable. I tell this to others who are in early recovery and they always look at me in disbelief–they do not understand how this can work–but it *does* work. You can definitely retrain yourself so you no longer do things to sabotage yourself.

Another great post, as usual–thank you for sharing this.

Melinda

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