Well, as I said above, any gift can be a curse if not used properly — and sensitivity is one of them. It can feel like a crutch at times, but there’s a positive side, too, which is something I want to discuss in the near future.

As for counselors, my coach Tom Volkar said something wise the other day. “We all teach what we want to know.” Counselors become counselors usually because they themselves experience an issue/struggle with emotional pain. That said, sensitivity comes in a variety of forms, and when I look I need to make sure that my counselor has antennas in places where I want them.

ari

Uh, yes, well — now I don’t need to write any more on this topic, after you put it together so beautifully.
Sensitivity is a gift, but unless you learn to wield it correctly, it can be a curse. Just like any other gifts. Sounds like you’re having to tip-toe around your mom — which is, unfortunately, a common social effect for those can’t quite channel their sensitivity in positive ways. My father was sensitive, too, and my mother had to be careful. My wife and I are both very sensitive, but in different ways.

I thought a Pixar film was a safe bet — sigh. Next summer I’m going to see two films, Star Trek and Harry Potter. I hope they don’t get too ambitious with camera movements.
ari

Most counselors have to fall in that too-sensitive category. It can indeed be a curse–or a blessing.

thanks! G.

I’ve read some of the discussion here about channeling sensitivity. After glancing at your post the other day and reflecting on something else as well, I was thinking about how God made some people more sensitive than others. I was thinking about how it is especially important for those people to train themselves with good healthy thoughts to bring on the emotions that are good and healthy - in other words to direct them in the best possible way - I believe it was Maya who said something about channeling it in the right way. If a sensitive person is brought up in a negative way then imagine how intensified their negative emotions will be. But on the other hand, a sensitive person who is brought up or trains themselves to think in a positive way will have beautiful emotions. Maybe that’s getting into your next post though.

My mentor was very sensitive, but finally learned to channel his thoughts in the right direction. His sensitivity was beautiful as I knew it.

My mother is EXTREMELY sensitive. I am forever trying to figure out how to best handle her sensitivity.

Hold off on those Pixar films - Save those for renting along with your Star Trek.
Jennifer´s last blog post..A Thanksgiving for You

Thanks for the comment — yes, the individual differences can be quite staggering. As I said, two people coming out from a single situation can have totally different reactions — one could be traumatized, while other may not feel anything.

I do believe that we can control our sensitivity, though I’m not so sure about if we can really change the sensitivity itself — we can learn to deal with exposing our antennas more fully or we can guard it, we can also learn better ways to deal with the signals we receive. I’m sure if we tried hard enough, we can change our very nature, but my inclination is to accept ourselves for who we are and change how we deal with ourselves.

ari

That sounds like a book I must read! Thanks for letting me know.

Oh, and one correction — I am self-employed, but I also have a “day job,” a full-time employment, as of right now (Nov 08).

I do have a story of how I met my wife, though it doesn’t address some of the issues you’re talking about.

http://ourbestversion.com/2008/06/how-i-found-my-soulmate/

This one may also be to your interest:

http://ourbestversion.com/2008/08/how-to-get-ready-to-meet-your-soulmate/

I’ll definitely consider addressing your specific issues for a future post. I can tell you — that us sensitive men make fabulous husbands. Yes, I think it’ll be useful to let more women know that our kind exists, and what we can do for them. Thanks for the ideas!

ari

ari

Thanks for your comment, and a great insight. Yes, when you’re emotionally wounded, it’s easy to take things too personally, getting too involved — when you’re sensitive, you do have to watch the distance between you and others at times. But it’s just like anything else in life — we learn who we are and we learn how to best deal with ourselves.

ari