“I’ve found that complaining is a major form of resistance and what we resist persists.”

I think there’s admitting and accepting the truth about hardships, and I think there’s indulging and dwelling in it. It’s a fine line to draw, but I am sure you agree that the former is good and the latter is bad. Like you, I don’t generally complain much. But I think I lean toward carrying toxic stuff locked up inside.

A wise friend once said “context is everything.” Some people need to stop their whining, while some others really should stop denying the truth in their lives.

ari

“eventually the overused tool of complaining becomes something that you only pull out when really needed.”

Aha! I think you hit the nail on the head there. Accepting the truth is an important act, but a lot of us get indulgent and focus too much on the negative side. As with most things, moderation is the key — you don’t want to dwell on things to whine about, but you don’t want to be so forcefully “positive” that you deny that there are sometimes hardships.

I’ll check in with you to see how your 30-day challenge turns out!

ari

I think it’s good that your friend didn’t stick rigidly to her “positive” thinking. All in all that’s a great attitude, but like you said, it’s also important to acknowledge the hardship. It’s a fine line to draw, and I’m still trying to figure it out myself.

Happy Holidays to you!

ari

Thanks so much for dropping by to comment! Happy Holidays to you!

ari

Yes, I think there’s purging experience, where you finally admit and accept the truth, and there’s the constant whining and negative attitude. The two are different things, entirely.

I’m sorry to hear about your friend. May you live a long and fulfilling life!

ari

Tom Volkar / Delightful Work´s last blog post..Five Tools to Sharpen Your Authentic Edge

I’ve learned that you can also complain if you frame it in the right way. Look at Jerry Seinfeld his whole act is one big complaining session, but the audience eats it up because he puts humor in it.

I believe complaining plays an important role in our social interactions, without it we couldn’t release a lot of our tensions that helps us connect with the people we are sharing our feelings with. The idea is to do it effectively. That’s hard. It takes a lot of discipline to stop complaining once you start. The individual needs to be very aware when he’s vented enough and isn’t continuing to please his ego. It takes a lot of practice, but eventually the overused tool of complaining becomes something that you only pull out when really needed.

Karl Staib - Work Happy Now´s last blog post..Day 18 of 30 – Bonus – No Complaining

One of my friends has recently gone through chemotherapy and was talking about the focus on positive thinking during times of severe trial. While she didn’t think this was a bad thing, she did note that it made it hard to acknowledge the bad stuff that was going on, her fears and pains, the sheer difficulty of chemotherapy combined with having a possibly fatal illness. So she kvetched a bit and we listened!

Jennifer´s last blog post..Hello, Columbus!

I have been reading your posts and they are great! Thanks!

I think the complaining you talk about with your mom is healthy when your not feeling well sometimes just sharing helps to free you up and see different sides or just get it out as you put it. Thankfully you had empathetic mom!